R. Minervini
Reflection vs Self-Reflecting
…Or for the sake of personal growth, One’s reflection vs One, self-reflecting.
If we were to define the word reflection, by our understanding of the meaning, I would imagine that most of us would reach the same conclusions. Reflection, would most likely be defined as the ability to see one’s self, an image, color, or light off of the surface of an object. Self-Reflecting, would most often be understood as the act of thinking, and often times weighing judgement of our personal feelings, our personal actions, and personal thoughts.
One, would have more to do with a visual response to what we are seeing, while the other requires more of a conscious exercise to partake in. Both, can also be controlled and manipulated. If we were to close our eyes, block the light source, cover or smudge the surface, or simply move the angle of the object that is doing the reflecting, we have the ability to prevent what we are looking at, or distract our attention from see it. In the same sense, we can apply that control to our self-reflecting of thoughts. We avoid or block the task by distracting our mind with watching television, going out with friends, drinking, and in some cases even taking medication. All of which can temporarily distract or intentionally avoid thinking.
What becomes interesting to me, is what happens when we remove what we hold so dear to us in today’s culture, “the mirror.” By not seeing ourselves or walking past our image for long periods of time, we forget to hold such high importance on what we look like, Our Reflection. Provided that we comb our hair, wash our face, and put some clothes on, we can probably walk thru a neighboring without being stared at. And, if whomever is in our company is mutually respectful, I would suggest that we would feel at peace with our perception of, who we are. We would stop judging, stop comparing, stop changing our outfits, our make-up, and hairstyles while proving that we can get out of the house much faster. Which to me sounds like positive personal growth.
Whereas, I would suggest the opposite happens when we remove the need for Self-Reflection. Not only of our current actions and behaviors, but also reflecting on our past. I believe that by avoiding the exercise of self-reflection, we disguise and submerge our mistakes into our subconscious and use the tactics of blame to avoid accountability. I’m sure that many of you have heard the expression, “there is no growth without discomfort.” In today’s world, life is filled with constant distractions, such as social media scrolling, binge watching shows, and going out with friends to restaurants, bars, and parties. Not realizing that the removal of occasional self-reflection is more detrimental to our well being, than one might imagine. By avoidance, it is easy to carry our fears from our past into our present. We lose the opportunity to understand why we become triggered by certain topics, places, or people. We stop questioning our behaviors, and the negative effects that they may have on our family, profession, and achieving goals.
What becomes even more interesting, is the greater amount of time that we are away from seeing our physical reflection, the easier it becomes to live care free. If all of us were to live in a world where the concept of being able to see one’s self physically did not exist, than the worry of how others see us, would also not exist. We would live in a world where the weight of, one less self-conscious judgement, would be removed from our daily discomfort. We would interact in a world, with others, who similarly would simply greet us with sincere intentions.
This thought inspires a person like me to dive even further down the rabbit hole of curiosity about reflection. The friends we keep, the activities, habits, and behaviors that we partake in, the loneliness we feel. All of these are a direct reflection of who we are; What we give, is what we get back. What we put in, is what we receive in return. What money we make, is what ‘we should’, be spending. These are the questions that one should ask themselves and be concerned with. Not, if my hair looks ok?
However, for the sake of Personal Growth, and our personal mental wellness, both come with a responsibility. Neither should be looked upon as truth, because both can be manipulated by perception.
Just like the reflection from a carnival mirror can distort the reality of our physical appearance, so too can our perception distort our justification of our feelings, actions, behaviors, and reasons for certain limitations. You often hear that Politics, Religion, and Sex are taboo to discuss. In heavy doses, they also contribute in manipulating our perceptions. Which, it’s by these perceptions that we later justify our beliefs, words, and actions. And like politics, religion, and sex manipulate our thoughts, Social Media, Advertising, Television, and Celebrity manipulate our perceptions of our looks. And, a manipulated perception of how we think other people see us. Sometimes, being completely different.
With all of these influences that are constantly flashed into our psyche, we sometimes fall victim to believing that what we see, read, and hear, is truth. And with all that we are witnessing with Ai, and image editing software, the manipulation truth, is FALSE! Which unfortunately, is a true reflection of our times. And I am sorry to say, I believe this to be true. We see how others look, We see what others have, we see and hear the results that they tell us they achieved, by the actions that they took(often times not even true). And worst of all, we see how other people admire and aspire to be same.
The innocent act of looking at our Reflection has changed. It now comes with an overwhelming confusion. We have fallen victim to rejecting our unique and personal beauty, by having our unattended subconscious feelings manipulate our thoughts about, ‘What we think our reflection should look like’. ‘What we want it to look like’. The beauty of embracing, ‘who we are’ and ‘what we are’ is of less importance. We begin to buy more clothes, try new products, and literally change how we look to manipulate our perception of What We See, being reflected back at us. This is where true reflection has changed to perceived reflection. Often times, in the hope of reflecting something different. Something that we have convinced ourselves that others would prefer to see. Our wish to create a reflection that models what society is projecting. Believing that something different is better, healthier, or accepted more by others. Our Reflection, is no longer of us. And how we see this new reflection, is no longer how other people see us. So much so, that at times, we refuse to hear how others see us. Is it for admiration? Is it to be accepted? Or a desire to find companionship? Is it to avoid critique or judgement? To defy aging? Or is it something completely different?
This is when guided and constructive Self-Reflection is most valuable. When it can be used to scratch beneath the surface of perception, to explore how one feels about them self. And even further, why we feel that way? Of course, now I am climbing out of the rabbit hole of Reflection and applying the benefits of Self-Reflection to every topic of Personal Growth and mental wellness.
So, in a quick conclusion, spend more time Self-Reflecting, and less time looking at your Reflection (or what’s being shown to you in society). Think more! even if its uncomfortable. Do more for others! of what you would like them to do for you, in return. Feel more comfortable with who you are! instead of looking at your reflection for validation.
In today’s culture, the dangers exist. They are meant to be there to draw you in, by those who benefit from manipulating your perception of yourself. Find a way to redirect your attention away from your reflection, and into a perfect world where only your heart and mind can be seen. A world where we can invite only those who laugh when we are around, and smile when we around, and where we all feel free to be uniquely us.
You may find that through the exercise of Self-Reflection, a true reflection of Self is being covered by manipulated perceptions, holding us back from the happiness that can propel us forward.
